If you ever want time to stop, just get pregnant. If you want to feel like time is actually working in reverse, get pregnant after age 35. I feel like I have been pregnant for 47 years. I have never been this uncomfortable in my life. My OBGYN has diagnosed me with 3rd-kid-syndrome. Basically I'm healthy and baby is healthy, but I'm old and its my 3rd pregnancy so everything just feels awful. To all of you mom's that have had more than 3 kids, I bow down to you. I could not be more grateful that I am healthy and baby is developing well and there are no apparent complications. My only problem, albeit a selfish one, is that I feel like I must just be a whiner. I am not a whiner in real life. ER nurses are not whiners, nor are we the most sympathetic people on the planet. (My family constantly complains about my lack of sympathy in most situations). I do not complain about pain, or exhaustion. I work 12-16 hour shifts in a busy ER on a mid-shift. Now I feel like I can barely make it through my 8 hour job sitting at a desk (pregnancy restrictions have caused me to temporarily be a "paper pusher" for part of my week). With my last two pregnancies I walked over 2 miles every day in my last trimester aside from working full time. With this pregnancy I feel like I can't get off the couch without struggling and making awful geriatric noises. My hips and back feel like they are disintegrating inside of my body. I understand the science of it all. I understand that the hormones relax your ligaments preparing for birth so nothing feels as solid and therefore aches and pains are exacerbated (http://americanpregnancy.org/pregnancy-complications/hip-pain-during-pregnancy/). Understanding the science of the problem doesn't always make the problem easier to cope with however. I'm sure many of you moms out there have experienced this. It is one of those symptoms that you "forget about" after pregnancy is over. Then, when someone else reminds you of it you get that "oooohhh yeeaaahhh!!! I remember that!" feeling.
In the midst of all of my pregnancy woes, my children have decided that this is the time to act like complete heathens. My 4 y.o. decided that she is actually 24, and has some sort of "say" in anything I ask her. For example, she thinks if I tell her to get into her car seat, she can say "No" and sit in a regular seat, because as she says, "I'm 4 now and don't have to do that." In my state of utter exhaustion, stress, depression, and generally just feeling awful, my patience for this is already incredibly thin. Therefore, my limit is reached pretty early. My patient mom voice gives way to my batman crazy voice and I end up sounding like a lunatic arguing with a 4 y.o. Meanwhile, my 2 y.o. wants to do absolutely EVERYTHING independently, even things that are impossible for a 2 y.o. to do independently. Add that with her obsession over being the "leader" (thanks daycare!) and we have toddler mutiny. This mutiny, combined with my current mental state, quickly causes me to feel like my world is falling apart. Consider if we could show our emotions like toddlers. I could sit down on the dirty parking lot, cross my arms, and to hell with anyone else. Can you imagine how life would be if that were acceptable? I mean, I probably would be stuck there because getting off of the ground is no easy feat at this point...
Through all of the chaos, and the discomfort, I am a very lucky woman. I look at my girls' sweet faces when they are sleeping and can not believe that they are mine. All of the exasperation drains away and I'm left very full of love for those little humans. I know this new one will be the same way. And someday; a day that will seem like the blink of an eye, I will remind them all of what exactly they put me through :). Hang in there parents. Every single one of you can relate to feeling like you can't possibly go on. But we do. And we will continue to do so. Support each other the best that you can. Sometimes just knowing you aren't alone in the chaos can make all the difference.
In the midst of all of my pregnancy woes, my children have decided that this is the time to act like complete heathens. My 4 y.o. decided that she is actually 24, and has some sort of "say" in anything I ask her. For example, she thinks if I tell her to get into her car seat, she can say "No" and sit in a regular seat, because as she says, "I'm 4 now and don't have to do that." In my state of utter exhaustion, stress, depression, and generally just feeling awful, my patience for this is already incredibly thin. Therefore, my limit is reached pretty early. My patient mom voice gives way to my batman crazy voice and I end up sounding like a lunatic arguing with a 4 y.o. Meanwhile, my 2 y.o. wants to do absolutely EVERYTHING independently, even things that are impossible for a 2 y.o. to do independently. Add that with her obsession over being the "leader" (thanks daycare!) and we have toddler mutiny. This mutiny, combined with my current mental state, quickly causes me to feel like my world is falling apart. Consider if we could show our emotions like toddlers. I could sit down on the dirty parking lot, cross my arms, and to hell with anyone else. Can you imagine how life would be if that were acceptable? I mean, I probably would be stuck there because getting off of the ground is no easy feat at this point...
Through all of the chaos, and the discomfort, I am a very lucky woman. I look at my girls' sweet faces when they are sleeping and can not believe that they are mine. All of the exasperation drains away and I'm left very full of love for those little humans. I know this new one will be the same way. And someday; a day that will seem like the blink of an eye, I will remind them all of what exactly they put me through :). Hang in there parents. Every single one of you can relate to feeling like you can't possibly go on. But we do. And we will continue to do so. Support each other the best that you can. Sometimes just knowing you aren't alone in the chaos can make all the difference.
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